Alyssa, I don’t think I’ll be able to come back home.  I am so sorry my love.  I’m so sorry!  I think a grenade went off and I…I just don’t think I’ll make it this time.  Please know that through these eyes I can see you guys though.  Even in this war…I can see you just as though you were here.  My little piece of Heaven…

Through blurry eyes I gaze at you softly.  You’re standing there with your arms in the air and laughing and slowly spinning in circles that mesmerize me.  Your beautiful blonde hair glistening with sparkles of happiness in the sunlight.  My tired eyes follow each strand as it flows in the air and your smile radiates inside of me and I can’t help but smile back at you.  You’ve always reminded me of Heaven…

Your eyes sparkle and I gaze at the universe that exists in each one.  Your eyes are such a beautiful place my love.  A place that always made me feel like a kid again and today you’ve once again allowed me to feel that.  You’ve allowed me to look outside of myself Alyssa, because you remind me of Heaven…

I know you are a wonderful mother and you’ve always been an amazing wife.  You changed me just by being alive and I’ll never forget the day I first met you.  You grabbed my calloused hands and your touch seemed to wash over me and it was through you that I learned what a real man is.  It was through you that I learned to cry and more importantly baby…it was when I learned just what Heaven was…

Through red eyes I look at you holding our daughter.  What a wonderful life it is to have found two miracles.  My beautiful wife and a little child that brings me so much pride I could cry.  I listen to the two of you laugh and how could anything bring me more joy than that precious sound?  I am so proud of both of you and her cute little fingers remind me so much of Heaven…

Through the last glances of my dying eyes I see you both.  I won’t ever stop loving you guys.  It was through you that I found life and even this war can’t take that away.  …But I saw you Alyssa.  I saw you through dying eyes and now…

…I have to go to Heaven.

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

The human spirit can achieve the greatest of things.  It may very well spend a lifetime working towards something that will change the world forever.  Sometimes, without even trying, we might achieve the same.  It is unquestionable that there are those among us – who will no doubt change tomorrow.

However, these people are no different than you and I.  They are just another piece of what is absolutely whole: the universe.  We are all connected on a very tiny scale and we are all part of the gigantic place that we call existence.

To exist is to be a part of something much greater than we are.  We have no more purpose or significance than a photon flying through space to some unknown location.  Yet, the effects this photon may have on something could be tremendous!

…or it could be infinitesimal.

It doesn’t matter though because it does not change our basic purpose.  That purpose being our ability to be in the world of existence.  In this existence, we can do absolutely anything we desire.  Our only limitations can come from the limited time we have to do it and the very universe that we are a part of.

It is here that we find we are not all that separate from each other.  Yet, we live our entire lives thinking that we are somehow separate from the rest.   We limit our thoughts to the prison that we call self and even the chains of society bind our thoughts down in ways that hinder the greater things we can achieve.

We limit our emotions to a very select few and in doing so we miss out on the beauty that comes in existing.  We should not limit our love and sorrow.  What we should do is share them openly with the greater portion of our existence.  We should share them with every blade of grass.  We should love openly every river, rock, plant and grain of sand.

We should share our sorrows and our heartbreak with the trees…because they understand.  We need to open ourselves to the humans that we interact with and every last animal.  We should love and have compassion for all things that complete our whole.

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

We are atoms. We are everywhere really.

Just in your bedroom there are so many of us that you couldn’t really conceive the number. Not just in the solid things like your desk or your bed, but, we are even in the air or in any liquids you may have.

Simply put: we are everywhere. We are… everything.

The atoms in your body have most certainly been to other planets or even maybe other stars. You see, not only are we so small that you can’t even see us – but we would do Mary Kay proud in how well we age.

We don’t often admit it – but we do get around pretty easily. In fact, it is quite certain that some of us in your body right now were probably also a part of Da Vinci or even Plato. To think that some of the greatest men in history are really nothing more than just a part of you.

It just doesn’t end there though. It could be possible that everything from the past is a part of you right now. In atoms.

You can thank us for this if you’d like. We allow everything the chance to be reincarnated into something else. Even more amazing is that we allow everything to be reincarnated into billions of billions of things…all at once. Amazing still is that we don’t even have to think about it. After all, we are everything.

While you may take comfort in being a solid form with the safety-net of specific borders, we’d have you believe otherwise. If you could see us while you sit there in your chair, you’d realize that the boundaries that mark where you end – and where the chair begins – are non-existent. We do like to move around freely after all and you’d soon realize that in part; you are the chair.

You would also realize that at any given moment in time, billions of us are leaving your body forever and new atoms are becoming a part of you. It is uncertain where they just came from, but take comfort in knowing that you are more closely tied to everything than you realized.

Once you come to understand that we are everything and what all of this means – you’ll find that the simplest truth of all is also the most profound: That you are connected to everything.

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

I was looking around the internet the past couple days trying to find some ideas on something I’ve been thinking about. The ideas are philosophical in a way and as such this led me to a very high degree of things that were written by “creative people”.

One sentence occurred all too frequently. In fact, it was quite hard not to notice it. It would go along the lines of:

“I am creative and I love my Mac.”

“I am creative and I love my Starbucks.”

etc.

This bugs me.  The biggest killer of creativity is this type of mentality.

We take things that are creative and we put them in pretty little boxes and turn them into a set of rules, labels and completely sterilize any meaning they ever had. We over analyze the meaning in certain creative pieces and create “artistic” phrases that are nothing more than buzzwords and empty imposter’s argot.

There are three types of people in any group. Followers, Poseurs and Leaders. In the case of creativity this means that:

Followers – are the consumer. People who appreciate creative works and support them.

Poseurs – these are the people who like creative works and try to be what they think a creative person should be like. (Think of the group mentioned at the top.) These people spend more time talking about and pretending to be creative rather than just doing it. These people often dress in certain ways that make them feel “artistic” and do things that the marketing industry has told them to do.

Poseurs can be found anywhere on the internet. One complaint of mine in particular is YouTube. Because there – I have a terrible time of finding things I want to see. I have a billion images of creative music videos I’ve seen in the past but I can’t find them there. And if I do – IF I DO – it ends up being a stupid 3 minute video that is nothing more than 2 minutes of credits towards the idiot that made it and then 10 pictures with music playing!

So I have to limit myself to “mainstream” searches because I don’t have the patience to wade through all that trash.

Leaders – these are the doers. People who just create. No rules, no pseudo-interpretations of what creativity should be. Not because they think it is cool, not for money and certainly not for fame or recognition. They do it because they must. They have to.

You end up with companies like Apple and Starbucks who tell all the poseurs how they are the “creative choice”. This is bullshit. They are HUGE corporations that control their specific markets and drive good little consumers to do what they need to do.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying I’m all that great in creative areas. But, in all fairness I think I am a “decent”, artist, musician and writer.

But that is just it. I just do it. I don’t dress according to the latest trend in my “genre”. I don’t do what my peers do and I could give ten shits about any rules that THEY say I need to follow.

“Creative People” don’t fit into boxes. Yes – we are eccentric. But in our heads. Not in our ability to conform to commercialism. Our society is killing all things creative. We spend billions on sports and strangle the funds for music and art classes and the art classes you can take – are often so polluted in art history and rules that it completely kills whatever good any creative person has done.

The creative people in history weren’t following rules. They were reacting to their world, to their life, and as a result of everything that ever happened to them – they created what they did. And that is exactly what creative people should be doing now.

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

Are we affected more by the things that happen to us or by allowing those things to affect us?  If we are affected by events in our lives then when will those effects be fully realized?  What will effect these changes by that timeframe?  Will we display an affect when we look back and see the effects that those events had on us?
Now I am sure I’ve used them all effectively, but luckily I won’t use that as an excuse to don an affectation of superiority…

It all gives me a headache…

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

A woman had hired me to write some stupid copy for her business.   She has a photography studio and wanted me to come up with text for each thing she specializes in.  I am posting it here for future safe-keeping.   A few of them jerk tears when I read them, so I want to keep them safe.  One of them was inspired by something an old friend told me in regards to their daughter going to college.

Weddings

It is your day.  A once in a life-time day.

You’ve finally made the decision to intertwine your heart with that special person.  Your wedding will be a single event that will forever seal the love you so deeply feel for them.  At your wedding, there will be a million smiles in the air, and there will be tears that speak truthfully about the deep, relentless love you cherish.  Tears and smiles that reflect just how wonderful love can be and how two people can create this amazing work of poetry…that captures…and inspires…all of us.
It is a day of small, precious moments and it is these moments that should never be forgotten.  They are moments that we can capture in their entire splendor.  Moments that are yours…forever to keep.

Engagements

There is a special moment in our lives that happens all too quickly.   Yet, it is the type of moment that changes our entire world…within an instant.  It is a moment when you’ll gaze deeply into the eyes of the person you love.   Your heart will beat relentlessly against your chest and you won’t even know where to put your hands…or your feet.   You’ll be captivated.   Breathless.  Overwhelmed with an emotion that not even the greatest artists from our time can express.
The pores on your skin – and theirs – will send electrical impulses to each other.  Your skin will tingle with a fiery breath.   And the time….before he asks…is but eternity.  The world disappears and there is just the two of you.    There is just your love.
Through the tears and through the rush of emotion you start a new road together.
It is this moment…that we can capture forever.

Sports Action

Her son was standing there.  It was his turn to face the other team; it was his turn to bat.
She knew he was a nervous wreck.  You could practically see him shaking in his shoes.  This thought made her laugh a little and she couldn’t help but love the little guy.  He was so determined to be the best baseball player in the world and as far as he was concerned, it didn’t matter if he had leukemia or not.  There was quite a bit to admire about him, but it was his relentless drive that amazed her so much.
The pitcher started to wind up for his pitch and her breath caught in her throat.  She couldn’t stand the thought of seeing his little face washed in disappointment again.  He hadn’t hit one single ball since he joined and it crushed her heart whenever he struck out.
The pitcher finally threw the ball and it seemed like the world went into slow motion.  It seemed like an eternity for the ball to reach her son.   There wasn’t even a noise.
Then it happened.  A loud smack was heard and the ball went flying clear out in outfield!  Oh my god!  She jumped up from her seat, tears pouring from her eyes.  HE HIT A HOME RUN!  She watched in-between the tears as her son proudly jogged around the bases.   She noticed a huge smile plastered to his face and realized she had the same smile on hers.
Today was the day that her son became the best baseball player in the world.
It is moments like these…that you want caught forever on film.

High School Seniors

It’s been a long….hard…road.  For years, you’ve had to memorize some of the weirdest things.  Like, what purpose does knowing the evolution of chickens serve?  Now, while some people might actually consider this information to be useful; you know better.  It is pointless.   Plain and simple.
Not that it matters.  Because, you…being one of the smart ones…did memorize the evolution of chickens.  And now it is all over.  This realization though didn’t really hit until your dad ordered that U-Haul truck to help clean out your locker.  But, now?  You are free!
Of course, it wasn’t all that bad.  Some of the greatest people in the world went to school with you.  As it were, they just so happened to be your best friends.  For years, you guys have shared some of the most funniest moments, some sad moments…and you’ve been there for each other.   It’s just so hard to believe it is finally over…
You made sure on your last day that EVERYONE got one of your Senior Pictures.  Even that kid that smells funny.  And why not, he deserves to remember your greatness just as much as the next person.  Of course, you definitely made sure you had a picture of everyone too.   Well, everyone that is except for that kid that smells funny.

Family Photos

Sarah looked at the pictures hanging up in her hallway.  The one that interested her though was the one of her and her brother.  It was her favorite picture.  It was a picture of them at Christmas time, right after he got out of Basic Training.  She looked at how handsome he looked in his uniform and felt very proud of her older brother.
She caught herself laughing when she thought back to that time period.   She remembered rolling her eyes when the photographer told them to stand in front of the Christmas tree.  God she hated him.  Not in a bad way.   Well…it was bad.  Well…just suffice to say that two people can hate each other and love each other at the same time.
She remembered when they were kids how much he got on her nerves.  He had the worst smelling feet in history!  And gross pictures hanging on his walls and not to mention his friends.  Heck, if you compared his friends to his feet – the feet always smelled better!
She was pretty irritated that night when all of these pictures were taken.  Now though….she was very grateful for them.  Who would have thought that these pictures would be the ones she liked the most?  This thought made her smile.  She turned away from the pictures and walked to the kitchen so she could call her brother.  After all….he was her hero.

Children

It was hard.  She couldn’t lie to herself anymore than she could lie to her husband.  Ashley leaving for college was the hardest thing she had ever gone through.  After all they had been through…her little girl had grown up on her.  Against her wishes even.  Rachel was sitting on her bed.  She had a box of tissues in her left hand and a photo album in the other.  There was a bowl of popcorn sitting next to her just for good measure.  Her precious little baby had turned into a woman and was leaving home.  This thought made her reach for more tissues and she opened the album in front of her.
Every year, they had hired the same photographer to take pictures of all of Ashley’s important moments, birthday parties and even just occasions that didn’t really matter.  It helped a little having so many moments in time to reflect back on.  But, that didn’t make her baby leaving her any easier.
Her daughter was due to leave in an hour or so and was still in the shower.  She remembered she wanted to double check Ashley’s bags in case she forgot something.  She lay the tissues and photo album on the bed and walked to Ashley’s bedroom.
There was a suitcase opened on the bed and as Kim walked over to it, what she saw caught her breath.  There, lying on top of some clothes was a single picture.  It was framed in a pink glittery frame Ashley had made when she was a kid.  This wasn’t what caught her attention though.  It was the photo.
It was a picture of Ashley in the hospital from when she had gotten hit by a car. Ashley was only ten when it happened. She was covered in cuts and bruises and had tubes running all over her body.  She was unconscious when the photo was taken.  Beth, their photographer had dropped by when she heard that Ashley had been in an accident.
The other person in the photo was Rachel.  She was sitting next to the hospital bed with her head laying on Ashley and their hands were clasped.  Rachel touched the photo when one of her tears fell on it.  Just then she felt two arms wrap around her.
She turned around and there stood Ashley with tears swelling up in her eyes.  They fell into each other’s arms and Rachel told Ashley that was an unusual photo to take with her to college.  Ashley leaned back and cupped her hands on her mom’s face and said “Mom, this picture is what makes me feel safe.  Whenever I am scared or sad or something, I always turn to this.  Because it reminds me that no matter how bad things get, I’ll know you’ll always be there holding me.”
Rachel broke in to tears and pulled her baby close to her.  While today was extremely hard on her, right now she felt like the luckiest mom alive.

Groups

It was a year ago today that Enchanted Haven – a senior citizen home – held its first ever “Improv Comedy Celebration”.   The idea had come from an elderly lady who had just joined the community at Enchanted Haven.  She somehow managed to convince all of the residents to participate in a series of Improv sketches in what would become known as the “Improv Comedy Celebration”.
As it turned out, it was the funniest thing Marie had ever seen.  Here were all these people, who are normally quiet and like to be left alone, up on stage saying some of the most unexpected and hilarious things imaginable!  A group of people were called up to perform after each skit and were told to act out a scene.   Such as “George you are a lion tamer who just found out he’s locked in the Whitehouse.  And Bertha, you are a security guard who finds him in a bathroom stall.”  The thought made Marie burst out in laughter.
The Celebration ended up being held every single month since that day.  The residents absolutely loved it and so did the care-workers and other employees at the home.  Marie had to admit though, she was a bit uneasy about the idea when it first popped up.   She was the lady in charge and it was her job to make sure the place remained safe and hospitable.  She gave in though.  Everyone was so excited about it that she couldn’t have possibly said no.
She looked at all the pictures that were taken that night by the photographer they had hired.   Some of them were just hilarious.   But, her favorite photos were the ones showing all the smiles on the people in the audience.   They were happy and it was these photos that reminded Marie that it was moments like these that allowed everyone to feel alive again.
Even her.

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

My decisions aren’t a reflection of who I am.    They are merely a reflection of my world at a given time.  Of all the good things I do, they must also create a dark balance in the world.  Just the same, all of the dark I do, it must create a good balance.

Today I am Chad. If I am able to change the world completely then I will find that I am still nothing but Chad. If I strive hard but fail much; I will still only be Chad. Who I am is of no more importance to my status than my status is to who I am. That is all there ever can be. I am.

If I am broken, it is only because I allowed it. It is true that I am not infinitely strong.

I am not infinitely weak either.

Therefore, I can endure whatever is brought against me. I am the maker of my transgressions for they are only created in abstract thought. I have carried many names and many titles. The truth is I can only be one thing: Chad. Nothing more, nothing less. There is a great unity in this universe and I cannot be a part of that until I find my balance. It is then…

that I am.

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

By starlight….I recognize you.  A shadow that brings me warmth and hope.

Hope that is in remorse.  Hope that is all but alive.  If I told you tonight that I loved you, maybe I could undo what happened.  My glazed eyes can see though that you’ve been dead all this time.  I just wish I could…

…undo what happened.

Crimson ink seems to mark the pages of time.  Mortal actions cast in the cathedral as shadowy figures of stone.  Gargoyles that glance down menacing at anyone who dares to look.  Our histories dictated by the inability to change what’s already been done.  And the world is
strapped to my back as I look up at those faces.  Unable to change what has been done.

Five years I’ve carried this burden.  A stranger’s bullet.  A lifetime of suffering…

Tonight.  By starlight…I’ll miss you.  I’ll hold you.  Through the falling snow I’ll cry.

To kiss you again…  I see this can’t be.  Not tonight.

Rest well my angel…

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.

A little delusion with a taste of wine

To dine with he that speaks wiser

An illusion I’m told, for this mirror I hold

This disguise that hides my desire

© 2010, Chad McComas. All rights reserved.